im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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