I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
