i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
