I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
