you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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