I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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