is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
