How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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