I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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