He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
