wrigley field is MILF paradise
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize