We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
