i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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