i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
What a dumb baby whore.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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