Small penises have feelings too.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
