he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
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Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
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the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
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