he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
