I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
