I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Randomize
