do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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