I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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