And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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