He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
