forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
