i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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