so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
