Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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