Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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