i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
