Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
