I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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