Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
