I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
