She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
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