I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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