I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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