I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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