he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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