That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize