I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
