He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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