I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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