He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just made my gag reflex go away.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
