There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
