oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
How's work?
Spinning.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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