Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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