I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
