U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
operation have a gay friend backfired
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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