I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize