I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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