My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
