Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think your dad took our porno
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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