am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
