Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
