I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
