Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
