it was like eating out sand paper
do herpes really smell.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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