dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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