I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
